Going through a divorce is one of the most difficult experiences a person can face. The emotional weight alone can make it hard to think clearly, and that is precisely when costly mistakes happen. People who are normally careful and level-headed find themselves making decisions under stress, grief, and anger that they would never make in calmer circumstances.
At Johnson Law Firm, P.C. in Spokane, Washington, we have guided hundreds of clients through the divorce process and we see the same missteps come up again and again. These mistakes are not made by bad people. They are made by good people who are going through one of the hardest seasons of their lives and did not have the right information at the right time.
In this article we break down the four most common mistakes people make during divorce and what you can do instead to protect yourself, your finances, and your children. Understanding these pitfalls before you encounter them could save you thousands of dollars, months of extra time, and significant emotional pain.
Mistake 1: Dating During Your Divorce
It may feel natural to seek companionship or emotional support during a difficult time, but dating while your divorce is still in progress is one of the single biggest mistakes you can make. Many people assume that because they have mentally moved on, dating is harmless. The reality is that it can create serious complications in your case.
Here is why this matters so much:
- Dating raises emotional tension between you and your spouse, making every negotiation harder and more contentious.
- If children are involved, introducing a new partner adds an entirely new layer of complexity to parenting plan discussions and can affect how the court views your judgment as a parent.
- A new relationship can motivate your spouse to become more combative about asset division, the family home, and financial support arrangements.
- What began as an uncontested divorce can quickly escalate into a highly contested one, dramatically increasing your legal costs and timeline.
Washington State requires a 90-day waiting period from the date of filing before any divorce can be finalized. In many cases the full process takes considerably longer. Our advice is to wait until the ink is dry before pursuing any new relationship, or at minimum until your parenting plan and asset division are fully resolved. A few months of patience now can save you thousands of dollars and months of additional court involvement.
Mistake 2: Overspending During the Process
When your life is being divided in two, there is often a temptation to spend on things that bring comfort or a sense of a fresh start. A new wardrobe, an expensive vacation, a spontaneous purchase of furniture for a new apartment. These things feel justified in the moment, but overspending during your divorce creates real and lasting financial damage.
Consider the specific risks:
- You may be transitioning from a dual income to a single income household, and your new baseline expenses have not yet been established.
- Large purchases can appear wasteful or financially irresponsible to a judge who is reviewing marital finances and determining support calculations.
- Taking on debt before your divorce is finalized can complicate asset and liability division and leave you in a worse financial position going forward.
- Depleting marital accounts during the divorce process can create legal problems and may be viewed as dissipation of marital assets.
The smart move is to hold off on any major financial decisions until after your divorce is complete. Build a realistic picture of your monthly expenses and income as a single person before making any significant commitments. Your future self will thank you for the restraint.
Mistake 3: Posting About Your Co-Parent on Social Media
Social media has become one of the most damaging tools in contested divorces. It can feel satisfying to vent online about what you are going through or to seek validation from your network. But posting negatively about your co-parent on any platform is one of the most damaging things you can do to your case, and it can hurt your children too.
The reasons this is so harmful are straightforward:
- Screenshots are forever. Opposing counsel will search your accounts, and anything you post can and will be used against you in court.
- Judges view negative social media posts as a sign of poor judgment and emotional instability, particularly when children are involved in the proceedings.
- Publicly criticizing your co-parent undermines your credibility in custody and parenting plan negotiations and signals to the court that you may have difficulty co-parenting cooperatively.
- Children, even young ones, can be exposed to negative posts through extended family members and friends. The damage this causes to them is real and lasting.
Remember that this is the person you will be co-parenting with for potentially the next ten to eighteen years, depending on your children’s ages. The relationship you build or damage right now will affect your family for a very long time. Stay off social media when emotions are high, and when in doubt, do not post.
Mistake 4: Making Major Life Decisions Mid-Process
Divorce is already one of the biggest life changes a person can go through. Stacking additional major decisions on top of it while the process is still active is a recipe for problems. People sometimes decide mid-divorce to move to another city, pull their children from school, quit their job, or make other sweeping changes. These decisions almost always backfire in family court.
Here is what the court is watching for:
- Sudden moves or school changes disrupt the children’s stability and routine, which courts place enormous weight on when determining parenting plans.
- Quitting your job or significantly reducing your income can affect how child support and spousal maintenance are calculated, and courts may impute income based on your earning capacity regardless.
- Relocating out of the area without court approval can constitute a violation of Washington’s relocation laws and put you in immediate legal jeopardy.
- Any sudden, dramatic change in your lifestyle signals to the court that you are not a stable, consistent presence in your children’s lives.
Unless there is an immediate safety concern that requires urgent action, hold off on major decisions until after your divorce is finalized. Consistency and stability are two of the most powerful things you can demonstrate to a family court judge.
How Johnson Law Firm, P.C. | Personal Injury and Family Law Can Help
Navigating a divorce without experienced legal guidance puts you at a serious disadvantage. The decisions you make during the process have permanent consequences for your finances, your parenting rights, and your future. At Johnson Law Firm, P.C. in Spokane, WA, we fight for families and their fresh start. We will help you understand what to do, what to avoid, and how to position yourself for the best possible outcome.
We work with clients at every stage of the divorce process, whether you are just beginning to consider your options or are already in the middle of a contested proceeding. Our team will be your advocate every step of the way.
